Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
