to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize