I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
i think im in europe. pls send help
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
