Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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