how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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