I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
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