i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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