alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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