Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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