who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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