Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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