no one should ever give us hovercrafts
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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