Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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