I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Randomize
