idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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