this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize