id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
