dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Randomize
