Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
