Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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