My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
