He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
