I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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