no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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