so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
