why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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