I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
