wat bout pragnant strippers??
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
