she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
