the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
where are you?
Hypothermia
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
