today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
