Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
