Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
