i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize