You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
