I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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