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Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize