There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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