Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
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