I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
she told me i tasted like america
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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