Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Dignity is for republicans.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
