everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
