hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize