it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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