i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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