I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
