i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Ketchup is God's man juice
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
