I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
