their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
