Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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