The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i drank out of a bidet.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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