The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
