Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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