Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
The Olympian is in my bed
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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