A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
