But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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