I wish I could punch you in the face.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
