tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
