I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
