New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize