Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
